And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
