I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
