Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
