To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
