I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize