i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
