I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
