South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we made out on top of his cat.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
