My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently you make a good broom.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
