3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
