lets start a swedish sibling band together
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
