why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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