So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
did you just send me my own nude
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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