We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
