You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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