everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
