Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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