Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
