One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
