I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
