Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
