question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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