JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
