Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
