in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize