I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this just has baby written all over it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
