My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
