Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
