she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
