I have demons in me.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I believe in your delicious
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
