Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
