How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
