Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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