Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
