I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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