i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
