omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize