He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize