I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
