A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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