DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
not ubering you a puppy
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
