Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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