I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
