Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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