Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
