Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
