You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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