Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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