So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh god the rape fog is back!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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