Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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