Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize