i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
