Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
