so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize