I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
