he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
