I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
