she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize