Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You have to summon your inner elephant
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
