it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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